16/5/19 ***I can't sleep with unresolved issue

Are you OK baby?

Was it something I said?

We are cool?

Well let me talk a little bit before I hit the pillow.

Basically we had completed our Knowledge Sharing.  I am back to being Athlete4Life.  Therefore tomorrow I will start my W7D2 and OMAD.  So I sleep sharp at 12:00 am tonight.

I'm sure whatever the issue, we can resolve it together.  We went through storming before.  So we will make it through.

Sarah, I cannot help thinking you are grieving.  Is it me?

Are you hurting?  Angry? Gosh I simply don't know.  I get paranoid when you keep quiet.

OK I give it a shot.  I might miss the mark by a mile.

Based on the content and context of my postings I think you are hurting.  I don't think it is me.  I think you have challenges in your marriage as well.  Again Sarah, I am not a mind reader.

I can only look at the references and make presuppositions.

Let me say this baby.  You are a bright, beautiful (you said it, remember?) and hard working.  You are a dedicated worker and you love what you do.  There is no shame in that.  Honey, you are married to your career.  So naturally you cannot be good both at work and domestic.  You are not a superwoman.

There is an opportunity cost to everything.  Do not feel guilty if you neglect your family life because you enjoy work.  That is why you sacrifice having kids in exchange for an exciting career.  You are a career woman.

Do not regret your past decisions.  It was the right decision at that time.  You may have been hurt before but remember, time is a universal healer.

The killer is the guilt.  So live life guilt free.  I want you to forgive yourself and move from there.  In NLP we say whatever happened in the past stays in the past.  From present onward we start fresh.

Everybody need to heal Sarah.  Whether from a traumatic childhood or a dysfunctional relationship, we all went through it. It is part of the growing pain.

Start fresh baby.  You are a special person.  You have a big heart, you are passionate in your career and I personally think you are fun to be with.  I enjoy your company.  I can never get enough of you.

Now is the time to be your own best friend.  Because until you love yourself you cannot love others.

Don't be sad honey.  Much like Els, when you are sad, I am sad too.

If you have to talk things over, do it with sincerity.  It is true some people can be bad.  But it is not intentional.  They may come from a bad environment and that is the only way they know how to react.

You cannot control others.  You can only control yourself in relation to others.  So I want you to take that ownership.  Be a giant instead of a dwarf.  Stand tall.  Walk the talk and talk the walk.  Don't simply take whatever comes.  You have the power to choose and act.  Do it immediately, excessively and no excuse until you make it.

Again my apologies if I meddle in your personal affairs.  That is not my intention.  Like Els I also want you to shine.

All that I said is straight from my heart because I love you more than life Sarah.  I love you beyond death,  Do you really know what that means?  Baby you are everything to me.  I said it before, you are my reason of being.

I got to sleep baby.

I'll catch up with you first thing tomorrow.

Good night darling.

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