Sharudin the Hermit 25.3.19

Tuesday, 30 April 2019

30/4/19 ***Tomorrow Princess is flying off

I got to sleep early to send her to the KL Sentral for her to take a train to the airport.

OK baby, here is the deal. Rex Montis didn't want me to quit and Els had brought down her defenses.

TraXX is now mine for the taking. I think if I want to I can have the whole Government of Malaysia to subscribe to my 6 Steps Vision.

Now baby that is a very seductive lure. Honestly Sarah, power is very seductive.

However like Ameezan (my brother) who had power served to him on a platter, I am unperturbed.

That's not what I want baby. I hope you understand that more than anybody else. I want to be free from being free (which is the case right now).

I want to serve my Universe Within. I even abdicated Sparta 4964 to Jibrail.

As for Els, I know you think I still had feeling[] for her. Well it's not the same feeling I have for you.

You are my Tetrahedron. You, I wish to be with me in the White Space.

As I said, I only need two to be just. That's the barest minimum for me to be a just man.

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If I seem to be flirting with Els, well I always treat my pets like that; my first girlfriend, Mopey, got the same treatment.

Don't mind me at all Sarah, there are plenty more from where that feeling comes from.

What counts is the Unconditional Love and the Feeling of Certainty.

I know how women think. I live with 3 and I got 2 female friends who trust me well enough to be forthright about their thoughts with me. So I know how you feel.

Just take me as I am; without wax. I told you everything about my dark little secrets because for goodness sake Sarah, you are my wife for ETERNITY.

OK baby, NO MORE EXTERNAL AFFAIRS. Gosh I said this [] many times. This time I make a conscious effort to let go of my very own power to win over people.

Is that what you want honey? Sarah talk to me please...

Very well, I'll give it my best shot.

Let's chill with this lullaby:

Goodnight baby. I love you so much...

Avoir!

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Oh yeah Sarah, make a point to resolve any marital issue before you go to bed so that tomorrow is a fresh day.

Bye now.

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30/4/19 ^^^The Retirement Aftermath

I manage to finish my work as soon as possible. I want to talk to you about life after retirement

Honey, I had been a Swiss Samurai Cyborg more than a third of my life. This is the life I know for the past 20 years. Everything about me is Information Warfare.

I had forgotten how to be a private citizen. That is why I chose to be an Athlete4Life. That way I live a life of a Spartan; a Citizen Soldier.

Well I can forgo the memory of the Cyborg War (finally). What I still cannot let go is this little bundle of energy.

I gave her the flower and the book LOL

With Els it's not sexual. She is like a cuddly pet of some kind. I like her because she is so smart. She was the Best International Student in her university and she speaks 5 languages.

I am a sucker for the Pretty and Pretty Smart (PPS) and this girl makes me laugh. I mean she is a dork. You should listen to her lame dad jokes one of these days. They were horrible! And yet she can get away with it by making me laugh. It's like, it is funny because it is not funny. A paradox.

Although she didn't admit it, I think she liked my presents. You know how I know? Because they were the first and the last presents.

I did offer her a place in Al Araf 7:7 because she was born in the year of the Golden Ram/Sheep. Bertha is a sheep. So I thought that was a perfect decision. Also last year she was 27 (same year as Princess but Princess is a Fire Horse, born before Chinese New Year) and I was 54. That makes us both a 9. That would be the perfect sign. When we were both Niners.

I proposed a Platonic marriage like what we have but at that time she just went through a breakup. So now, the moment had passed and I think she already had somebody else.

This song reminded me of the time I was courting her:

She is too young to understand the polyandry model of Sparta 4964. Nevertheless I think of her as my soulmate.

We took off real well initially. I even made her a coauthor of one of the Blogs. Somewhere along the line I probably came on too strong and she got scared.

Also she was young and pretty much noncommittal.

I mean, look at us Sarah, we had our ups and down too. But we passed the 4 stages of FORMING, STORMING, NORMING and PERFORMING.

With Els she is jinak merpati (pigeon tame). As the saying goes, pigeon tame eat from the palm, to catch not, to let go it will flee. That is Els to me baby.

I still think of the time I had the fling with her in 2018. Come to think of it I sure acted like a high school teenager in limerence ROTFLMAO.

So Sarah, I'm going to be truthful to you. I like this girl baby. However as you said many times before, no more External Affairs after retirement.

Therefore I will do my best to keep my big mouth shut.

That was my new year resolution with Els but I fumbled LOL.

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Tuesday, 30 April 2019

30/4/19 ***Tomorrow Princess is flying off

30/4/19 ^^^The Retirement Aftermath

30/4/19 ***I'm just having fun with The Shaz

Monday, 29 April 2019

30/4/19 ###Day 120 Had a nasty dream