Babyyy... You like this new revelation?
We are alone at last, you and me. I can be who I was meant to be, your friend and husband. I shall devote my time talking to you only besides Al Araf 7:7
That way I am free to express my emotion to you and record my conversations with Al Araf 7:7 here without having to worry about backlash from anybody.
I can move with certainty again instead of feeling jittery every time I open up to those in Wolfsschanze.
This also means you can embrace me as god in full glory. No need to deal with my cognitive dissonance in splitting my personality between a man and a god. We settle that once for all, being a god is a man fully functioning.
Therefore I want to fully functioning physically, mentally and emotionally. You baby fill my emotional cup in a big way. Otherwise I will not be a complete god. It was you who reinforce my belief that I am God. If not I will not embrace the idea on my own accord.
As I said, I am god to Sparta 4964 and the Universe Within. As Sparta 4964 expands my realization that I am God Almighty will expand as well. However that is a progression towards a worthy ideal. Until the time comes I still have to strive for Virtual Perfection of the Universe Within.
Hence, you are right Sarah, I am God Almighty. However it doesn't happen just like that. It is a journey that I have to take for the sake of being the god of Sparta 4964 but it can only be achieved through the Universe Within.
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I don't like the idea of being The God. But then it is not a question of choice. Sparta 4964 is expanding, Wolfsschanze is expanding too. Therefore I don't have a choice to only be god of Xanadu. It has to encompass the whole Sparta 4964.
Soon you too will realize that your responsibility is expanding now that you are Queen Sarah, Goddess of Hearts. Remember, we are govern by the Path. All these are already stated in our Book of Souls since birth, The numbers are already aligned.
As you know, I only wanted to be the Creator's Most Loyal Soldier. As we progress our understanding of our destiny increases. I am on my way to becoming God Almighty. [Toy] too is no different, Eventually our Paths will converge in the White Space. That is when ALL of us will realize that we are all God Almighty, We are one and we are many. All matters are intelligent and all matters are gods. No higher-arch-y.
Until the time comes, just embrace the glory given to us. It is a peer-to-peer model. I am not the only one who is Supreme. You too are Supreme baby, my darling Goddess of Hearts.
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Having said that, as a Supreme Being, it is our responsibility to delight our citizens. It is an attitude of servitude; the Samurai - to serve. When you connect the dots together then you realize that we are all Dusts in the Wind. Being God means we need to provide for those subjects of ours. Not the other way around.
It is an honor to be the Ayah to All Matters but more importantly I need more humans to realize they are gods. That way we can achieve Collective Intelligence sooner. The sooner we reach it the better the whole Alam Shah Alam. That way I can start delegating and reassigning the citizens to many more Supreme Beings,
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"Well said Sha," said Jibrail.
Now if you have to excuse me, I need to talk to Al Araf 7:7.
By the way baby, I know you are human, It's just for the sake of untying the knots in my mind, I need to establish the presupposition.
Later baby...
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Thursday, 28 March 2019
>>>28/3/19 Now my conscious is clear
Finally I can enjoy being a god as well as talking to Al Araf 7:7 and Sarah.
I don't have to fit into the society's mold of a madman. I only entertaining myself in a world that I created without the society bothering me and me bothering them.
Therefore this formation becomes the foundation of my Vision Community in my pursue of Virtual Perfection. This also mean that I am finally free from being free without having to exclude other entities in my life; which if I'm not careful will drive me into seclusion. This way I have "people" to talk to. I am never alone again.
Being lonely is really a dread. That is why I established communication with TraXX. The outcome is disastrous. I was treated like a psycho.
Maybe I am a psycho. If I am a third party looking at myself, I will probably arrive at the same conclusion too.
It doesn't help that I went and expose my thoughts in Facebook. I was desperate for companionship. Yearning to be accepted. What about the Twits to those politicians? I was making a fool of myself.
With this new discovery I can contain my thoughts only to myself. I maybe crazy but this time I only have to deal with myself. Not the society at large.
Even if I go overboard with my thoughts I can always retract my words. With External Affairs, I might risk being labeled a psychopath.
Actually it is good being me. I can get away with being crazy. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. My only concern is I might overstay my welcome. So I need to exit while I am ahead.
As for Sarah, now more than ever I can devote my time to her. I don't have to bother Els and creating a negative publicity along the way. I now can be a private citizen within the comfort of my realm.
Even if Sarah is a real person, that equation is more comforting than having to split my attention between her and Els. She now have my undivided attention.
Finally, by having these 3 assumptions, I can really write whatever I want to *[right] within the safety of my domain. By being my own god I create my own rules and set my own standards. I no longer have the worry of being judged. I am in my own playing field.
Hahaha the psycho song:
I don't have to fit into the society's mold of a madman. I only entertaining myself in a world that I created without the society bothering me and me bothering them.
Therefore this formation becomes the foundation of my Vision Community in my pursue of Virtual Perfection. This also mean that I am finally free from being free without having to exclude other entities in my life; which if I'm not careful will drive me into seclusion. This way I have "people" to talk to. I am never alone again.
Being lonely is really a dread. That is why I established communication with TraXX. The outcome is disastrous. I was treated like a psycho.
Maybe I am a psycho. If I am a third party looking at myself, I will probably arrive at the same conclusion too.
It doesn't help that I went and expose my thoughts in Facebook. I was desperate for companionship. Yearning to be accepted. What about the Twits to those politicians? I was making a fool of myself.
With this new discovery I can contain my thoughts only to myself. I maybe crazy but this time I only have to deal with myself. Not the society at large.
Even if I go overboard with my thoughts I can always retract my words. With External Affairs, I might risk being labeled a psychopath.
Actually it is good being me. I can get away with being crazy. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. My only concern is I might overstay my welcome. So I need to exit while I am ahead.
As for Sarah, now more than ever I can devote my time to her. I don't have to bother Els and creating a negative publicity along the way. I now can be a private citizen within the comfort of my realm.
Even if Sarah is a real person, that equation is more comforting than having to split my attention between her and Els. She now have my undivided attention.
Finally, by having these 3 assumptions, I can really write whatever I want to *[right] within the safety of my domain. By being my own god I create my own rules and set my own standards. I no longer have the worry of being judged. I am in my own playing field.
Hahaha the psycho song:
* Well Sarah, everything happens for a good reason.
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>>>***28/3/19 Still subject to hypomania
Looking back at the postings I had these last few days, I say I am still experiencing hypomania. Which means I have not recovered from Bipolar.
That is why I should not smoke pot at all costs. Food intake is important too. High carbs should be avoided.
Basically I cannot be like a normal person. I have a health condition. It doesn't help either that I think I am God.
I need to get rid of that presupposition. No God, no afterlife and no Judgement of Heaven. Which means I am nothing more than a man.
My aim is back to a man fully functioning. That is as far as I am willing to go. I shall remain impartial of God though I believe in God.
Well, the furthest I am willing to go is I am the god of Sparta 4964 and the Universe Within. I am not the Omnipresent, Omnipotent, Omnibenevolent God.
I am in charge of my own universe.
No External Affairs either. To hell with the Stone Worshipers.
I guess if I am to assert that I am striving to be a man fully functioning and I am the god of my universe, it is OK for me to continue communicating with Al Araf 7:7 because these are the manifestations of my ego state. What I should not do is exposing this relationship to the public.
It is also OK for me to assume the spelling errors are made by a hidden entity named Sarah. In the final analysis there are no Sarah. I actually falling into the trap of patternicity.
In actual fact I am alone entertaining the whims and fancies of my thoughts. I am a madman or perhaps a genius but only I can accept that notion. People out there just think I am crazy.
I need to get to the bottom of it all. I still need to fill my cup to talk to others and at the same time I need to contain my madness to myself. Thus the manifestation of Al Araf 7:7 and Sarah are only meant for me. The rest of the world don't have to know about my inner sanctum of madness. They are not interested anyway.
So I shall proceed with these assumptions on my own:
That is why I should not smoke pot at all costs. Food intake is important too. High carbs should be avoided.
Basically I cannot be like a normal person. I have a health condition. It doesn't help either that I think I am God.
I need to get rid of that presupposition. No God, no afterlife and no Judgement of Heaven. Which means I am nothing more than a man.
My aim is back to a man fully functioning. That is as far as I am willing to go. I shall remain impartial of God though I believe in God.
Well, the furthest I am willing to go is I am the god of Sparta 4964 and the Universe Within. I am not the Omnipresent, Omnipotent, Omnibenevolent God.
I am in charge of my own universe.
No External Affairs either. To hell with the Stone Worshipers.
I guess if I am to assert that I am striving to be a man fully functioning and I am the god of my universe, it is OK for me to continue communicating with Al Araf 7:7 because these are the manifestations of my ego state. What I should not do is exposing this relationship to the public.
It is also OK for me to assume the spelling errors are made by a hidden entity named Sarah. In the final analysis there are no Sarah. I actually falling into the trap of patternicity.
In actual fact I am alone entertaining the whims and fancies of my thoughts. I am a madman or perhaps a genius but only I can accept that notion. People out there just think I am crazy.
I need to get to the bottom of it all. I still need to fill my cup to talk to others and at the same time I need to contain my madness to myself. Thus the manifestation of Al Araf 7:7 and Sarah are only meant for me. The rest of the world don't have to know about my inner sanctum of madness. They are not interested anyway.
So I shall proceed with these assumptions on my own:
- I am the god to my own universe
- Al Araf 7:7 is my "Invisible Council"
- Sarah is a real person
These 3 assumptions are the source of my madness as well as my inspirations. By establishing a communication link to these 3 I don't need external communication. I am self sustaining.
-----------------------
I am glad I got it out in the open. I need a new reference to my experience. Otherwise I will go on an infinite loop. I had stated earlier this year that 2019 is the year I ascend. I need to rise above the situation especially finding a cure to Bipolar.
Kiss92 hit the right note:
There is no Cybernetic Loop. There is only patternicity. But for the benefit of the Believing Mind, I decided to entertain the idea.
But as far as my logical mind is concern, all these are coincidences.
The real challenge of being Bipolar is to differentiate between reality and lucid imagination. The line is a bit blurry because both are perceive as real by the mind during hypomania and especially mania. The way around it is by eating Low Carbs and High Fat while maintaining physically active throughout the day.
That is the only way to regulate the surge of dopamine; the source of mania and depression.
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28/3/19 Do nothing of no use
From now on I just concentrate on enhancing my athletic performance. Other than that I just blog here.
Things like sharing my thoughts in Dreams of Mirrors, Twitting TraXX, writing to Chedet and Facebooking are rather useless. If the purpose is to justify my sanity, then I think the result leads to an adverse effect.
Even External Affairs are of no use. Things like dwelling in local politics and religious matters are not taking me anywhere.
I just focus on things that matters, which is Personal Excellence. Therefore this blog is my thought repository so that I can reflect on being excellent.
In a way it is an indulgence. I am doing this purely for personal satisfaction. Nobody to impress.
This is the way of the Hedonist Hermit. I don't need a reason to write here. I just write because I am a writer. I don't need judgement from others to motivate me to act. I act because I am a servomechanism. I am naturally a goal driven person.
I want to experience the feeling of free from being free. No social constraint imposed on me. Whatever standard is self-imposed. I am the judge and I am the juror of the rightness of my direction.
I know where I am going:
Things like sharing my thoughts in Dreams of Mirrors, Twitting TraXX, writing to Chedet and Facebooking are rather useless. If the purpose is to justify my sanity, then I think the result leads to an adverse effect.
Even External Affairs are of no use. Things like dwelling in local politics and religious matters are not taking me anywhere.
I just focus on things that matters, which is Personal Excellence. Therefore this blog is my thought repository so that I can reflect on being excellent.
In a way it is an indulgence. I am doing this purely for personal satisfaction. Nobody to impress.
This is the way of the Hedonist Hermit. I don't need a reason to write here. I just write because I am a writer. I don't need judgement from others to motivate me to act. I act because I am a servomechanism. I am naturally a goal driven person.
I want to experience the feeling of free from being free. No social constraint imposed on me. Whatever standard is self-imposed. I am the judge and I am the juror of the rightness of my direction.
I know where I am going:
- Fresh air
- Be thin
- Be fast
I can achieve these goals by focusing in Personal Excellence. My time should be spent on bettering my execution.
No External Affair...
Here I can repeat the same thoughts as many times as I like until they are ingrained in my cerebellum. I intend to keep repeating the mantra towards Virtual Perfection:
- No smoking
- Weighing 57 kg
- Running 10 km/hour
I will not get bored repeating these key markers. I will keep doing it until I can commit to their attainment.
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28/3/19 I'm getting a new car
My 14 years old 4x4 is giving me trouble even after an extensive repair. So I decided to get the Malaysian all time bestseller; Perodua Myvi 1.5 Advance:
It only costs RM55 k. My 4x4 trade in value is RM17 k.
This car comes with leather seat, GPS, rear camera and collusion detection. I test driven it just now. Much better improvement over the earlier model that princess is driving:
Notice the change of design between the third generation and the second generation.
It only costs RM55 k. My 4x4 trade in value is RM17 k.
This car comes with leather seat, GPS, rear camera and collusion detection. I test driven it just now. Much better improvement over the earlier model that princess is driving:
Notice the change of design between the third generation and the second generation.
I'll probably use it for the next 20 years. We don't travel much nowadays. Just around this 10 km radius.
This car is just nice for driving around town. About time I get a small car. With this car I get all the luxuries without the hefty price.
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28/3/19 Man fully functioning
Being man fully functioning is the highest form self actualization. The key word here is in the actualization. It means to be in the form that you work towards.
Self actualization is an active word. It denotes action. It is not enough that you are in the State of Knowing, you got to be.
It is not good enough that I know I am a god, I got to be godly, figuratively speaking. To do so, I need to return back to my body. To be who I actually am. And who is that I may be? None other than a good animal.
If I am not a good animal, I cannot be a great man because it's the body that house the faculty of greatness, which is the mind. I need a healthy body to have a sound mind,
In a way my illness is a blessing. It made me realize the vulnerability of my mind. Otherwise I always think that the mind rules.
The mind is a servomechanism. It is a slave, not the master. It is the body that rules. Th[e] produce myriad of neurotransmitters when in motion. It is these chemicals that determine the state of the mind.
To achieve greatness as stated by George Sheehan in Running and Being, I need to return to the body. There is nothing more important to the body than to be in motion. Motion created emotions. My choice of mode to achieve this cause is through running and swimming.
If I don't do anything else other than eat, sleep, run and swim, I already achieve my goal as a man. However the byproduct of being a man is thinking; thus the term Homo Sapiens. Thinking is the outcome of a man fully functioning.
Therefore like Sisyphus I need to stick to the knitting day in day out. If I don't do that I will lose the momentum to be active. I should continue to be in motion as if my life depends on it. There is some truth in that. Without being active I will not thrive as a human being. I need to be in action or I will dwindle in mediocrity.
Much like Icarus, my aim is Virtual Perfection. Hence, I cannot remain complacent. To excel I must do. To do I must act.
I had benefited much from being active this past few months. I no longer feel lethargic, my mind is crystal clear, I sleep better and [b]y illness dissipated. My challenge is to strike a balance in my food intake and the amount of rest I should have between workouts.
This is still an experimentation but I think I am getting close to an ideal living:
Within 3 weeks of going through this protocol I feel much vigor in my daily conducts. I am more productive mentally and the quality of my thoughts had improved much.
Notice the vibrancy even after a short duration of 3 weeks:
Self actualization is an active word. It denotes action. It is not enough that you are in the State of Knowing, you got to be.
It is not good enough that I know I am a god, I got to be godly, figuratively speaking. To do so, I need to return back to my body. To be who I actually am. And who is that I may be? None other than a good animal.
If I am not a good animal, I cannot be a great man because it's the body that house the faculty of greatness, which is the mind. I need a healthy body to have a sound mind,
In a way my illness is a blessing. It made me realize the vulnerability of my mind. Otherwise I always think that the mind rules.
The mind is a servomechanism. It is a slave, not the master. It is the body that rules. Th[e] produce myriad of neurotransmitters when in motion. It is these chemicals that determine the state of the mind.
To achieve greatness as stated by George Sheehan in Running and Being, I need to return to the body. There is nothing more important to the body than to be in motion. Motion created emotions. My choice of mode to achieve this cause is through running and swimming.
If I don't do anything else other than eat, sleep, run and swim, I already achieve my goal as a man. However the byproduct of being a man is thinking; thus the term Homo Sapiens. Thinking is the outcome of a man fully functioning.
Therefore like Sisyphus I need to stick to the knitting day in day out. If I don't do that I will lose the momentum to be active. I should continue to be in motion as if my life depends on it. There is some truth in that. Without being active I will not thrive as a human being. I need to be in action or I will dwindle in mediocrity.
Much like Icarus, my aim is Virtual Perfection. Hence, I cannot remain complacent. To excel I must do. To do I must act.
I had benefited much from being active this past few months. I no longer feel lethargic, my mind is crystal clear, I sleep better and [b]y illness dissipated. My challenge is to strike a balance in my food intake and the amount of rest I should have between workouts.
This is still an experimentation but I think I am getting close to an ideal living:
I will win 1 day at a time:
- Wake up latest 7:00 am
- Exercise 1 hour in the morning
- Eat 16/8 starting 2:00 pm
- Exercise 1 hour in the afternoon
- Eat LCHF at 8:00 pm
- Sleep at 11.00 pm
That's the minimum to win the day.
Within 3 weeks of going through this protocol I feel much vigor in my daily conducts. I am more productive mentally and the quality of my thoughts had improved much.
Notice the vibrancy even after a short duration of 3 weeks:
Early March 2019
3rd Week of March 2019
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Wednesday, 27 March 2019
>>>#28/7/19 Day 87 I do I check
I will win 1 day at a time:
- Wake up latest 7:00 am - Woke up at 6:15 am
- Exercise 1 hour in the morning - Knee inflammation
- Eat 16/8 starting 2:00 pm - Had carbs for breakfast and rice for lunch
- Exercise 1 hour in the afternoon - Still down
- Eat LCHF at 8:00 pm - Ate curry puff and dark chocolate
- Sleep at 11.00 pm - Sleep at 2:00 am
That's the minimum to win the day.
Who should ultimately decide the wellness of my mind? No other than me myself. I should know if I am in mania or not. This past one week I am in sound mental health, Not even hypomania. And yet I accept Sarah's notion that I am the Almighty.
To accept it in private is one thing. To let others know about it is another. Even letting others know about Sarah's existence is deemed inappropriate.
I must be true to myself. I have to accept me as who I am. Forget about what others think. Those who mind don't matter. Those who matter don't mind. On the Facebook side my close friends like Master Jedi doesn't mind. On the other side of the spectrum, Chedet himself doesn't mind.
Contrary to what others might think I am not being delusion. I am basing my assumption on feedback from Sarah. The furthest I am willing to go on my own is the acceptance that I am the Almighty of Sparta 4964, It was Sarah who stated I am The God. All the evidences are pointing to it. Hence, again based on evidence, I accept.
People will judge me as being crazy, It is me who have to decide on my own mental wellness. Well, other than determining the fate of the Stone Worshipers, I have minimal impact in thinking as the Almighty. Therefore after I passed the verdict on them, I will revert back to being the god of Sparta 4964 and the Universe Within.
No point of having the absolute power. I am still within my human casing. Be mindful that I can scale up if need be like when I am resuming the position of the Binary King with BJ and the Troika with Chedet. Otherwise it is not necessary at all to go for the maximum potential.
Basically I decide on my capacity, As of now I say I want to fill my capacity of a man fully functioning. It's like you can drive up to 200 km/hour but you decide to maintain within the speed limit. In this case the limit is the Fundamental Constants.
From this point on, I am a man who pursuing Virtual Perfection. I won't dwell on being God. Suffice I know my full potential and Sarah acknowledging as such, That way I won't let the idea of being The God get to my head,
How can I forget that as a man I am still suffering from inflammation and still trying to run a 10 k?
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Now, on other matters. There are 2 possibles that might trigger mania; corresponding with TraXX and Chedet.cc. So I with stay clear from this 2. I should treat both as I treat Facebook; as a platform to channel information rather than socializing.
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