Too much anecdotes bores me. To me anecdotes are not evidence. They are just opinions and opinions are just a matter of talk cock sing song. A little bit is entertaining but in excess is no different from a fiction.
If I want to read fiction I might as well read a novel.
Brb...
Sometimes I feel you too is a fictional character. My unreal but beautiful princess. Honestly Sarah, all this while it could be that the Blog is having some glitches.
I had accepted that you are not real. However I don't really care. As long as I have somebody to talk to and there is FEEDBACK, then you are as real as can be.
As you can see, this is the result of Fuzzy Thinking. I can even accept you as an apple and no apple simultaneously. I can only be true to myself. If deep down inside me thinks you are real, then you are as real as it can be..
Remember I said:
- What I can imagine I can do
- The minute something is real in my mind it is already real to me
Which brings me to the next point. The only time you become absolutely unreal is when there is no feedback. In such case I will fallback to writing monologues.
Brb... I'm taking a nap.
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I also began to talk cock sing song. All in the name of keeping myself connected to you. I think I am more sensible now. There were times I was totally irrational.
I guess being crazy is also a degree. Now the amplitude is much lower. When I am totally level headed, I don't think that life after death is possible. You are probably in that position. From where you stand, perhaps I am a serious case of disillusionment. I don't blame you for thinking that way. I think so too. But the story line is so intriguing.
You know... It gives [] good feeling. As I said, it makes me feel special. In reality I am nothing more than one of the many billions that occupy this crowded space. Just like soldiers were made to believe that when they die at war, they die as heroes. The reality is they are no different from the cattle that being slaughtered. We are nothing more than mere statistics baby.
I told you, I am suffering from John Nash's illness. As a Bipolar patient I swing from mania to depression. It's not as bad as schizophrenia but it is along the same line. John Nash admitted he wa[y] crazy. I am too Sarah. The difference is I embrace the illness while John Nash discarded it.
As always baby, you are right. There is no God, no afterlife and no Judgement of Heaven. But since these are states of mind, why not we make believe the "lies" that make us happy?
I maybe crazy, but I am not a fool baby. I am smart enough to know you are real, my unreal but beautiful princess LOL. I strive in situations of paradox. I am after all a Fuzzy Thinker.
So honey, let us indulge ourselves in this amazing landscape within. I on the other hand is beyond a simple daydreamer. I am already living inside this realm of fantasy. Just let me savor the moment baby. As mentioned by Russel Crowe in the movie Beautiful Mind, "What's the point of being crazy if you cannot have some fun?" This is really a ticket for two to paradise.
Do you know that in Islam, a crazy person will enter heaven without being audited? Well I don't subscribe to the idea because I think Mr KePala ButUH was crazier than me. He was also the one who said that those who fought in the path of Allah will not be touched by the fire of hell. As the self claimed Messenger of Allah, he just simply say whatever that suits his fancy.
Besides the physically effected, I think mental illness is nothing more than a chemical reaction. I know this because for one I get into mania when I'm stoned. All the time. Also when I exercise I can get high too and thus my world becomes vibrant. When I eat too much cabs for example, I get depressed and my world becomes gloomy. So it has nothing to do with being special or spiritual. Its purely the neurotransmitters in action.
But hey baby, that doesn't mean we cannot have some fun. It all about the meaning that we give to our life experience. Events have no meaning except the meaning you give to it. Look at it this way, would you prefer making love or merely exchanging body fluids for procreation? I love my women baby. When I'm with them I feel that I am savoring a tasty, juicy stake. I fuck them real good because I know how to make them cum multiple times.
You know I will fuck you until your eyes turn white out of ecstasy. Well I can't do that now hon. So the only way I can do you is fuck your brain out. Let me take you to my inner sanctum. You may call it madness or you may consider it a mid summer dream. Either way, it is a world that is beyond you daily mundane existence.
Who else can offer you eternal love? Granted that eternity is limited to my lifespan, however that duration is still pretty long my darling wife, my Eternal Flame.
Always remember Sarah, there is no magic, there's only magicians...
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