I had recurring dreams that I am a consultant again. As if my mind refused to accept that I [] no longer a practitioner.
They were nice dreams of me working and solving problems. As if my mind is saying I am OK now. Time to go back and earn a living.
It seems that the mind refuse to let go of the past. It kept pushing me to that direction. I am bemused [] than anything else.
The person I saw was a wiser me. Who I am now [] doing things of the past. I am working in sync with my other associates and I accepted them for who they are.
All of them are more successful than me and instead me priming, I am a sub.
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Why Sarah? Am I feeling inadequate right now? Am I not doing justice to Lizzie? She is the one who told me to retire. Why are these thoughts creeping in again? Is this some form of psychological trauma?
Let's listen to some Cybernetic Loops:
I need to be mentally productive. I got to be a top notch player again.
I need to solve big problems like I did with you using the Paradox Principles. Otherwise that part of me will keep pushing to surface. My A Factor. Who I am at as a Corporate Peak Performer.
I need to be fulfilled as an Organizational Development Consultant.
Strange isn't it? My A Factor wanted to emerge. That is why I subconsciously wrote the Paradox Principles.
I need to deal with corporate challenges. What an irony. Here I am retreating in my cave and yet a part of me is pulling me back to that direction.
Actually Sarah, I am so out of touch with the corporate world to the point my knowledge now is obsolete. The last knowledge that I thinks is still valid is SCQuARE. The rest like QCC, TQM, BSC and Project Management are outdated.
I guess the Paradox Principles was the most relevant. What else do I got to offer? None really. I am a corporate dinosaur.
Shucks. Let's listen to Chaos Theory:
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