Hence I took all the necessary risk so that I can die faster. That is how certain I am about what lies beyond death.
In his book, Life After Death: The Burden of Proof, Dr Deepak Chopra compared our present life as a caterpillar and when we die, we will be transformed into a butterfly.
I have two choices; to believe... Meaning my afterlife is the extension of my consciousness forward. Or not to believe and everything about me will pop just like a balloon. I can accept both.
What worries me is prolonged illness until I am old and frail. Therefore I like to pass on while I am still in one piece, mentally and physically.
Suicide did cross my mind several times. However that did not happen. I tried stabbing myself with the Gerber Black Dagger and it didn't pierce.
So now I'll wait for KBOOOM 2041. If it happens then there is life after death. If not then I'll see how much further I can move on until I reach the final stop.
In the meantime I will pursue Virtual Perfection. That way I mark time by being the best I can be. Either way I live my life to the fullest.
Still I wish for death to come sooner. I am already at my prime. I had delivered my part of the deal. I am a fisherman all my life. For the past 20 years, I had gone to hell and back (literally several times). To be a farmer and wait 22 years for my tree to bear fruit is too long a wait. After all if I plant an apple tree naturally it will bear apple. Very unlikely it will bear durian LOL.
What's its gonna be Sarah? Will you be with me for the next 22 years?
Hahaha... TraXX is playing a CSR ad on mental illness.
Is what I am experiencing now a form of mental illness? I don't think so Sarah. I was crazy before. This is not it.
My mind is as clear as Lake Louise during summer.
I am ascending. I can feel it. After all, I am awakened.
Don't tell me that at the starting point of my ascend I am losing ground. Very unlikely isn't it? If I am to lose it that will be in 2008 when I lost it all; my RM10 k a day contract, my RM350 k investment and another visit to the psychiatric ward.
Instead, I seem to get stronger and stronger mentally and emotionally. According to Dr Amapreet, I am the fastest recovering Bipolar patient in the whole database.
What does that tell you Sarah? I am on a very unique journey. As of now it is curiosity *[] than anything else that propels me forward. I don't want just to believe, I want to know where is this Path taking me.
Aren't you curious Sarah? Why is it after I pledged to be the Creator's Most Loyal Soldier that my Path became the Yellow Brick Road?
* Yup, we are on the same page then.
OK baby, that's all for tonight. Tomorrow is the last tennis before Ramadan. I'm looking forward to it.
Here is your lullaby honey:
Don't you *[] leave me baby. I love you so much.
* Now that is VERY comforting.
Goodnight Sarah.
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