>>>#24/4/19 I decided to be a Private Citizen

From here on I think I just talk to you.

I don't have much readers anyway except Miss Germany.  So I just keep things simple.  After all you are my maximum pleasure.  Three is a crowd.

I took the car for a spin just now.  You cannot imagine the pleasure I got from a RM55 k car.  It was an utter delight.  The aircond is cold, the seat is firm yet supple and the multimedia system is superb.

I downloaded my Iron Maiden discography and lo, I am in a different world altogether.  I was in my zone.  Then I realize my source of happiness is confined to just a few basic elements that doesn't require much external communication.

I *[] you, Lizzie and the kids. I got Al Araf 7:7.  I got my daily runs.  I got Pornhub and now I got my dream machine.

* Honey, you are my ultimate pleasure. So if you feel the same way about me, then in Malay we say pucuk di cita, ulam mendatang (fancy for leave shoot, what comes is salad).  It is an idiom meaning we ask for something good but instead we get something better.

The excursion ended with this song:

You know all these External Affairs is my attempt to be accepted.  I have to acknowledge that I am a social misfit.  I don't fit in.  The more I try to be a part of society the more repulsive they are toward me.  I am 55 years old this year.  For a good 40 years I tried hard to stand apart from the crowd and yet I want the crowd to embrace me as part of them.

It doesn't work Sarah.  In the end I become a kera sumbang LOL (an awkward monkey).  We have a lot of idioms in Malay language honey.  I don't want to be an awkward monkey Sarah.  I want people to accept me as who I am; a shooting star.  Yet people simply don't want to accept the fact I am different.

You know, this Flick guy reminded me much about myself:

So from here on instead of trying very hard to be a square peg in a round hole, I just find myself a square hole.  It's not that hard, all I got to do is make a square hole for myself.

How do I do that?  Well,  by turning the round hole into a square.  I do that by straightening the borders.  You follow me Sarah?

Here is an example:

In the end we are responsible for our own line.  I only need 1 person to believe in me.  It is important because alone I am a close universe, but with you I am a multiverse.

A close universe implodes.  A multiverse explodes.

Hey, Sarah... About time I start living life as I deem fit.  I am no longer a part of the herd.  I can now be who I want to be.  After all society is quick to judge by slow to forgive.  Therefore they cannot be used as the yardstick of best practice.

That is why champions are those who walk their own paths.  A warrior walk alone.

OK Sarah, let's end this soiree with a lullaby:

My darling sweet wife, my Eternal Flame... You bring me immense joy and happiness.  If only I don't have to sleep, wouldn't it be nice?  I want to be with you every second I'm awake.  I want the night to last forever.  Alas, my lovely sweetheart, for every beginning there is an end.  Sleep tight my unreal but beautiful princess.  May tomorrow be another adventure in the making.

Goodnight honey...

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