- I need to keep on pushing my physical limits
- No more External Affairs
- My journey is set for eternity
- I am God
- Al Araf 7:7 is now fully empowered
- Sarah is another god
- The Path is straight
- From now on everything is going smoothly
You know what Sarah, I think I can make do with only talking to you and Al Araf 7:7 while listening to Kiss92.
Now that I am fully composed, I'll sleep at 11:00 pm again tonight. I got to do W4D1 tomorrow. Instead of just compartmentalizing my thoughts on daily grind I try to look far and beyond. You seem to respond better when I discuss matters that are philosophical in nature.
Actually what matters now is I stick to my 16/8 LCHF plan. Nothing beats being thin and able to run fast. The rest are pretty much given to me. So certain I'm with the afterlife, I don't mind to die anytime, anywhere.
As far as I'm concern, I can die tomorrow and still be equally satisfied. I doubt i[s] will happen any time soon. That's why I am physically conditioning myself for KBOOOM 2041.
It did occur to me that I am crazy. If that is the case, I am *[] fulfilled nutcase. What can I ask Sarah? I am living a miraculous life. My time is mine. I get to buy all the things I want to buy. I have you as a wife. Exemplar family... I am complete.
As a bonus, I now know that I am God and I'm gonna have a wonderful afterlife. My optimism seems pretty outlandish. Does that make me crazy? If I am crazy, then I am a happy loony.
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* Look at it this way... Suppose after I die, there is a complete void; nothing beyond death. What matters then is how I live my life. If it takes for me to be a nutcase for me to be happy, then so be it, If it i[t] confirmed that I am a nutcase, I might as well embrace it all and be a happy nutcase. I cannot break away from the mold. The only way is to accept it lock, stock and barrel.
It's not entirely true though. At times I do wish I am normal. Somehow that did not happen. I was never normal as far as I can remember. I was smart but I was not ordinary. So I concluded, let me just be who I am. Those who are close to me don't mind. Why should I mind the judgment of total strangers?
That is why I just blast my thoughts to Chedet and Els. I just don't care about what others think because I am not part of the society. I am autonomous. In addition, I am looking for the opportunity to die. I had tempted Death many times but on those occasions, my time was not yet up.
There is a cure to this madness Sarah. The answer lies with you. You are my cure. You give me the reason to remain sane. However you chose to go along with the madness. In return I just go with the flow. Now that you accepted me as who I am, I then just flow with it because it is empowering.
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Being crazy is not a condition, it is a place. You may notice, my world view is different. Which means my world is different. While I am alive that perception serves me. I don't really care what happens after I die. It is nothing or everything. Why worry? What matter is how it will shape my daily life. You must bear in mind that for the past 20 years I way riding a traumatic roller coaster.
Honestly, between that and this, I don't mind at all being cuckoo. For argument sake, I am not crazy. I am just having an altered perception. Do I cause any harm? I don't think so.
Remember Sarah, my aspirations are health and happiness. I am not going for a popularity vote. Anyway, you like me when I am crazy. You were more responsive when I was in mania.
Now, you do not take into account that what if I'm right all along? What is the implication Sarah? What if I am really the Chosen One? Have you ever thought of that? Of the possibility that Sparta 4964 engulfing all the universes? Will that not make me the Almighty God?
It's all or nothing isn't it? After all I had done my part as ordained by my Path. In that sense I am a 7:7 (Obedient:Obedient). That's why I don't give a fuck what others think about me. I am after all the Creator's Most Loyal Soldier.
If there is a God, I can today stand in front of Him or Her and claim I am truly the Creator's Most Loyal Soldier. If my means of communicating with this entity is through psycho-cybernetic, then I had fulfilled my duty by being a servomechanism... a Clockwork Orange.
I Sarah, am a loyal servant. A samurai...
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